New Me?

I'm not used to being busy. Are you shocked? But my kids are grown up, MM still goes to work most days, and I have Sheila to help me once a week. I mean - how much work IS there left for me in that? Also, by nature I am a "stander and starer" - a ponderer. I am the only person I know who can sit and think for literally hours without getting bored. Its probably a sign of either enormous arrogance or enormous vacancy. Anyway - mostly I'm not busy Unless I go actively LOOK for it. And why would I do that? Yet strangely, many of my friends have the idea that I am this intensely busy productive person, involved in all kinds of worthy projects all the time. Where they get this idea from, I have no idea. Certainly not from me. And would you believe - If I tell them I'm really not like that They are convinced I'm just being modest. Its wild. Anyway - Here's the deal - Now I AM busy. It feels weird True to form, I have two distinct opinions about it. (Did I ever tell you that pop tests (taken on a computer quiz) prove that I am so centred between right and left brain that I constantly second guess myself? I drive myself and all my dearly-beloveds crazy with my indecisiveness. Being able to see both sides of the story is not all its cracked up to be - trust me.) Part of me is enormously impressed with "new me." Wow! I too can be busy - I find what I'm doing fascinating And its good to have this focussedness But there is another part of me that would rather be watching reality TV - or sleeping - or having coffee with a friend. I HATE that part of me. I really want to disown it But its kinda clingy. Not giving up hope though. Anyway - if I'm not around as much as usual for a while You now know why.