Green Reasoning

WARNING!

If you are a "green" person, read any further at your own risk. These are my views and you are going to hate them.

A-a-a-a-nyway

Just a couple of days ago, baboons reappeared in our street.

These troops of baboons - high as they are on the tourist "Oooooh!" list -

(especially if there are babies clinging to their mother's underbelly)

are a destructive menace if they 'adopt' a built up area.

There have been countless examples of trashed houses;

raided food cupboards; excrement smeared walls and carpets and broken windows and furniture.

Of terrorised women and children (and probably men too - they are just too proud to admit it!

An aggressive male baboon is fearsome and dangerous)

Of people trapped in their houses with baboons on their roofs, decks and in their gardens.

Of children too scared to play in their own yards

Of windows that cannot be left open.

Even, in one recent case, of a terrified young mother finding a baboon sitting in the cot with her baby.

Aaaargh!

At the first sighting of the baboons, our wonderful Neighbourhood Watch people sprang into action to get them out of the area.

I should tell you that this area previously had a highly trained squad of baboon 'monitors' who knew exactly how to woo the troop out of the built up areas and back into the mountains .

But in their wisdom, the powers-that-be

have transferred them away from our area and left us the laughable suggestion that we should "squirt them with a garden hose" to discourage them

Ya-haa-aa - that's so gunna work

NOT!

Like you are going to leave the relative safety of your house and go outside to spray 15 baboons with water!

The NWatch sent out an email suggesting that we, the residents, use paint ball game guns (sans paint) to discourage the baboons.

Brilliant.

Well - apparently some residents REALLY didn't think so.

Within an hour, another email had to be sent out saying 'cancel the first one' because there was such a barrage of mail about it that the system jammed.

Green people puzzle me.

Well, about this anyway.

They have no problem with the NWatch making people move out of the area if they are even believed to have mischievous reasons for being there - or indeed, cannot give a good reason for being there at all.

But baboons, who are known to cause huge problems - well, somehow, in green thinking, they should not be moved out of the area no matter what damage they do.

I don't get it.