Thursday, December 4, 2008

Delusion Debunking

I have to go to a DO -
a business associate of DH is hosting it so there is no getting out of it.
This type of event is NOT a fav of mine
And - worse: it leads to the need for new clothes!
Aaargh!
Am posting to try to revive myself after the trauma of clothes shopping this morning.
(Well, that was ONE of this mornings traumas: possibly more on the others later: depends how soon I run out of blogging mojo.)
And ja, I know.
Everytime I have to buy new clothes, my post is around this particular grief.
Luckily, I am not a lover of shopping: neither do I have a hectic social life.
So jeans and a top usually do me just fine.
If I lived in the UK, I would probably have Trinny and her equally sanctimonious side-kick target me for a "How Not to Dress" make over.
And most of the time, the only mirror I use is one that I specially select:
It is in a poor light:
it is small (I can only see my head and shoulders in it)
and there is no way I can see myself from other angles.
It suits me famously.
I can live happily in delusionland.
What I don't see can't hurt me.
And then:
"Shopping Reality Check"
Huge mirrors = 360 degree visibility
Lights that make you look greenish and ill
Lit from angles that show every nanno cellulite cell in your body.
(When the heck did that HAPPEN to my legs!?)
The struggle in and out of clothes, getting mad because THEY are making clothes smaller and smaller every year.
Why can't they get their sizes right?
Well, thats my story and I'm sticking to it.
Of course, when I finished with that debunking of all my carefully nurtured delusions, I had to go spend money on make up and skin care.
Because that's going to help. . . . .
Here's a secret:
I bought a step-in today.
(Haven't worn one of those since I was sixteen
When I didn't need it - but it was fashion to not wobble anywhere
Not even in the good places.)
Got the idea from those non- surgical make over programs.
You can tell me how funny that is -
I don't care - I'm going to get rid of my muffin top
Or whatever that spill over area is called
Ya do what ya gotta do
:-)

9 comments:

Jo said...

Take yourself off to Monsoon in Cavendish, really reasonable and gorgeous stuff to suit anyone and with your fab figure youll look stunning.

allie. said...

Jo, I think you have just notched yourself up to be my favouritest person!

I'll try Monsoon.

Pics will be forthcoming if I have any success

Mel said...

Ma, lets go monsoon-ing together. I will pretend I am rich and you can pretend you are 25. Ha ha clonk.

I crack myself up.

Off to my own personal do with the man tonight. Or personal hell depending on your frame of reference.

LOL - not.

allie. said...

AHAAAHAAAHaaahahaa
HAHAHAhahahahahahaaaa

Whoa Mel,
10 out of 10 for that one!

But - not a bad idea at that
:-D

Rambler said...

What is this miraculous "step in" you refer to?

allie. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
allie. said...

Rambler - think lower key corsets.

But Woolies is going to get mine back.

Having the blood supply to my lower limbs cut off is too high a price for a muffin topless look

Heathcote Safari said...

Oh man, just give me your money and I'll go clothes shopping for you;-) but what the heck is a 'Step-in'??!!

allie. said...

Its a deal, Em.
I always wanted a personal clothes shopper!

For an explanation re "step in" I refer you to my answer to Rambler just one comment above yours :-)

*Sigh* And to think that they were commonplace such a short (?) time ago. . .