Thursday, September 3, 2009

Another Viewpoint

I remember discovering that one of my teenage kids had been living a much higher (in the sense of decadent not spiritual!) life than I ever imagined possible for any of my little darlings. Like most moms, I was convinced that our kids wouldn't do such things - well, not as teens anyway. (And before your imagination runs away with you, let me say it was pretty minor stuff by today's standards) Anyway, I was a disillusioned mess, wringing my hands before God, whinging away: probably telling Him what He should do about the matter. Suddenly, unexpectedly, this thought cut across my thinking in the way I have come to recognize as His voice to me: "So, Alison - if you had the power to orchestrate the lives of your children, how would you do it?" Stopping in midstride, (often I pace when I pray - specially if its hard stuff) stunned at the question, I thought about it. As the answer began to filter through to me, I realised how foolish, even dangerous, my way would be. I would never allow any pain, any trouble, any need or lack, any loss, any sorrow, to touch them: I would ensure that they would only experience happiness and pleasure and comfort and safety and health. The next thing through my mind : (not sure now, after all these years, whether it was Him again, or whether I asked myself this): "So - what sort of people would the children have grown up to be then?" Good question, no?


Meriel said...

Allie - that is a gorgoeus picture. Where is it taken. How very very pretty. I just love it.

allie said...

HI Meriel - yes it was one of those "happy accidents"
Taken at Matjiesfontein at the back of the hotel.

It is very pretty there

Kirsty said...

I'm LOVING your new look! Gorgeous!
As moms, we would happily wrap our kids up in cotton wool and face all the barbew wire fences ourselves... but we, as moms, have to learn, that our children will LEARN through experience, and by stopping any experiences, we are essentially clipping their wings!
It's a hard balance, but you obviously did a great job, judging by your brood... I hope I can too! x

Gill said...

Very interesting thought to ponder. I am such a naff mom, I hate my kids to go through any trials - I think their hardships and problems hurt me a whole lot more than they hurt them. I would definitely be inclined to wrap them in cotton wool if I could. But in retrospect I can clearly see how the hassles they have been through have stretched and strengthened them.

And I agree about your header :-)

Cheryl said...

Being a Mom is quite clearly a stress I don't think I could handle on a daily basis. Hats off to all Moms. My Mom once said "you can teach your children what is right and what is wrong and pray for them - the rest is up to them"

Laura said...

I have this debate/discussion with a friend often.

While I would like for my children to never experience pain and heart ache and disappointment I also beleive it is vital for them to learn these things, to go thro them - just like we did! Its life. Its how the become who they are!

allie said...

Well it seems we are pretty much all on the same page here: its hard to watch our kids go through difficult imes but we need to let them for them to develope well.

So, is that why God lets us?

Shayne said...

I know as a mother i want to protect my girls from the big badness out there. But for how long can i actually do that? And don't they need to know that that badness is there & experience it to a degree in order to become who they are destined to be?

The thought of my girls hurting is more than I can bear - and having recently experienced it i still feel the despair - but I know that no matter how hard I try there is only so much I can do to protect. For the rest, I think as long as I guide them as best I can and be there when they fall - is that what the role of a mother is?

I don't know.

You put something out here today that i think is good food for thought.

Love the green & the divine pic - you look beautiful!

jacki janse van rensburg said...

the unbearable pain i went through after my husband died, must have broken my parents' hearts! yet i would not have been who i am today without all that.

they would have spared me that if they could, but that was not GOD's plan for my life..

good points. it made me think.

Terry said...

Dads point of view! I have two girls 28 and 30, and when they were young I was so protective of them. But then I realized I had to give them space to grow. That was very hard for me as I didn't want any pain in their lives. But as they grew older, I realized that they weren't totally mine. They were God's children and He had given them to me to raise. So God's in control and we just need to raise them in the way's of the Lord. He'll do the rest!

allie said...

Shayne, Jacki and Terry - thanks for putting your hearts out there.

When I read what all of you had to say about this post, I realise afresh what an incredible bunch of people I encounter in Blogland.

You guys rock!

Lynette said...

Oh my know how I struggle when my children go through difficult are always on the receiving end of an e-mail:)

Still a difficult thing to completely surrender to Him.