Tuesday, June 1, 2010


This is a cross between a gripe and a soul search: I remember being amazed (not in a good way) when I heard, some years ago, that high school kids, sitting in their groups at break at school, were communicating with the others in that same group; while they were sitting together, on MIXIT on their cellphones. As I write, I stop again to marvel over this! But it was the teen rage then and we all know you have to be "in" with those. Next - my beloved teen granddaughter, whenever she came to hang out with us, brought (obviously) her cell phone - and (less obviously), her laptop. Bemused, I would watch her fingers fly over the keys of either her cell (mobile) or her laptop, as she carried on conversations with sundry other people, while we were chatting to her. She had it down to a fine art, I noticed, nodding and smiling at us from time to time; an absent minded comment thrown in now and then. She did it with such grace, and obviously without any intention of being rude: it was just a life style for her. Now, with easy access to the Internet, FaceBook, Blogger, Twitter, email, available on cell phones, many adults seem to have made it their lifestyle too. And are as adept at it as my granddaughter was. It has become just weird socialising with people who have made this space their home. Someone recently said this (with some sadness) in my hearing: "I've become used to the third person in the room." If we do the cyber-bunny thing, the message being picked up by the people in our company could be: "You are boring. ANY person on this gadget is more interesting than you." Even if that is not our intention. I'm not talking about when both parties are busy with cyber-stuff together; that can be very matey. I'm talking about when one partner wants face-to-face time Or in a situation where its obviously about socialising - And the cyber-connection is preferred. I have to be so careful about this: not on the phone, (mine is positively archaic) but with my laptop. If I bring it into the lounge with us, the temptation to 'go there' is huge. So I leave it in the study and find lots of 'opportunites' to drop in there. Like making tea. . . :-) I feel (seriously) there is an addictive quality to this. Addiction = you do something even when you know its the wrong thing to do. Maybe the addiction is not just about cyber-space per se Maybe its about getting attention; being in-the-loop; escaping our own reality; whatever. I know we bloggers have spent a lot of time questioning ourselves as to why we blog. It might be quite interesting to ask some similar questions about our cyber-bunnyness. I have a feeling I might get some flack about this post. Your all being such cyber-bunnies, an' all. :-) That's ok Bring it on.


Charmaine T said...

When we are together as a family, or sitting around the table having a 'kuier' with friends and their children, there is only 2 rules.

No cellphones aloud and no chippig in when the grown-ups are talking.

If they(children or teens) don't like it, they can go sit elsewhere. There is so little time for families to realy chat and be with each other that you can't allow cyber to come inbetween. Or, that is how we feel about it. We don't dislike it, just everything has it's own time.

Stefanie said...

I find it rude when I am talking to someone and they pretend to listen while they text or mixit to someone else.

We have no cell phones (or books or other reading material) at the table during meal times.

My pc is separate, do I duck and spend time on it? Obviously I do, but not when others want quality time. Do I sometimes want to? Again, yes just because sometimes my cyber friends are more interesting than the face to face I am having at the moment. I really can only do 10 minutes of a boring conversation before my mind wanders off.

However lastly, when the adults are visiting and my teens are bored, I'd rather they sit in the same room and talk on mixit than be at home alone or be interrupting and taking over the conversation.

Looking forward to reading everyone else's comments, am sure you've stirred a hornet's nest with this one.

Lynette said...

Not a cyber bunny! Really;-) I love following blogs...but not when DH is home. As for teenagers and cellphones. I know when I took my DD's phone away a while ago, her life came to an abrupt halt...she no longer had ANY life!

When we spend mother/daughter time together the cellphone is not invited. When we have supper or eat out...no cellphones allowed. I believe it is rude when you are busy texting during conversations. But then again, I am old fashioned...or sommer net "old" as my DD likes to tell me;-D

Ness at Drovers Run said...

Hubby and I enjoy sitting in bed together on lazy mornings (pfft what are those?) and being on our phones, but in the same room, in one anothers company. But oh my stinking heck, does it EVER freak my mother out. We'll all be sitting watching something at her house (not conversing) and if I so much as glance at my phone, she's like "Put that bloody thing down!" and of course I give her the haughtiest look I can muster and tell her "it's work." :)

Simply-Mel said...

It was MY HUSBAND who made that comment about being the 3rd person the room...

rebukes via blog posts are always welcome. I can take it. I am a seasoned cyber bunnie after all - we are chrome-plated. ;-)

allie said...

Too much honesty Mel!

If it were just you, I wouldn't have been scared to say so.
But you are SOO not alone.

But I saw the seeds of a good blog topic.
What can I say? The evidence of my own addiction is right there for everyone to see. :-)


Kirsty said...

hmmm - struck a chord (or maybe it was a nerve) with me!
I AM a cyber bunny... but a guilty one! I do it and feel guilty. Like a naughty school girl who has just sneaked a quick smoke! Why do i feel guilty? Because I'm a mum! And we feel guilty about everything! I shouldn't be doing this on the computer because I should be cooking, cleaning, lifting, shopping etc...
I do wish i could drop my habit... but I am well and truly addicted! ;-)