Thursday, March 31, 2011

Never Too Late +

Don't swallow the story about old dogs/new tricks, ok?
i have made an amazing discovery:
Astonishing things can happen.

In fact they are happening.
i will risk writing about it because these things haven't come about through my will power or discipline.
They bear the fingerprints of the Master Craftman -
you know, where you suddenly realise that huge stuff has happened when you weren't looking?
And you have no idea how?

Examples, you ask?
Well ok, but this is embarrassing.
*breaks into a mild sweat*

#  i avoided entertaining because i hated cooking.
At least thats what i told myself.
The truth is that i believed my cooking was awful and was afraid i'd make a fool of myself.

# I also avoided having people here because my home looked as though we camped here.
Utilitarian to the enth degree.
Functional and unimaginative

(And YES I DO KNOW - an AWFUL lot of "me, I, my" -
An awful lot of fear of what people might think.
Don't think i don't hate that too!)

# I managed the state of my house by pretending that it was just easier to live that way.
No clutter for me!

The truth was that I had NO confidence in my ability to decorate my home.
So afraid of making a mess of it that I just lived with it.

(Ness and Shayne - be kind, ok?  i now know what a woes i've been)

Here's the thing - this is the good part:
i wish i could think of something, anything, to point to, that started the change
But, you know, i can't.

All i know is that lately i'm :

#  Having people to meals, and loving it.
AND producing good food too, i may add :-)

#  Browsing through piles of decor mags (thanks Mel!) to identify what i like:
making decisions for myself about them; even subscribing to HOME mag *faint*
(i do not subscribe to mags)

#  The changes to the house which have been vague dreams for years are suddenly happening
The deck will soon be glass enclosed opening straight up from the lounge so it is all one space.
The wooden ceiling  is being replaced with white as I type
And the ghastly carpeting will be gone in a matter of days, to be replaced with wood.
Gleaming and golden.

But what i'm also loving is the small shifts: the new pics, plants, etc
The constant alertness to what "might work"
i know i'm gushing but this is really exciting - it feels as though i've slept through parts of my life and am only now waking up.

I forgot to tell you - this has spilt over into DH's life too.
Without any wifely manipulation being applied, he has totally bought into all of the above.
(Apart from having to pay for it, i mean :-)
It is a humungus attitude shift for him, trust me.

If this season of divine changes would only spill over into my gymming world!
But really - not even that would surprise me.

PS: Ceiling status at end of Day 1:

The cornices still have to go up and there is a lot of painting and finishing to do yet
but I think it already looks way better.


Shayne said...

Yes, these are the things that I believe God has a direct hand in (not that he doesn't in other areas, but you know what I mean).

He quietly works away at you without you realising it.

I always thought tho, that your house was lovely - minimalistic but very mod!

Isn't it interesting how we interpret our and others homes?

Decorating is such fun - i simply adore it. Adding an ornament here or there, and new 'wall' of photos - give me such joy. It all comes together slowly but surely and one day you're like - what, is htis beautiful home ALL mine???


allie. said...

You got it, Shayne, totally got what i was trying to say.
Thanks for comment about my place - unexpected but nice to hear :-)

i will be paying a LOT more attention to your home decorating posts now, girlfriend!

cat said...

Wow Ally that will be fantastic. I am in a slump too, just because I feel so overwhelmed by the kid's stuff. Everywhere.

lg said...

Hey ma. It's going to look awesome. So glad that you are getting to do these things. So exciting.

And, I know its not what you were looking for, but you are a fabulous cook! Even tho you passed the 'i hate cooking' gene to both Mel and I, all three of us are pretty sharp in the kitchen if we want to be! Can't wait to pop up and have a see. xx

clare said...

The ceiling is a great improvement. Light and bright!
Best advice I can give you it works regardless - bring the outside in! Your gorgeous blue skies and sea right outside your windows - take those colours sand, sea, sky, pebbles, stone - look to Martha she is a decor guru or check out Candice Greenways pics x

allie. said...

@ Clare - Thanks thats exactly what I'm planning to do!
I told DH I wanted to tune us in with sky and sea; with sand and cloud.
The stuff that looms large from our windows.

So good to get confirmation from the gurus :-)

Meriel said...

reading your post is like looking into a mirror. i too do that.

these pics are gorgeous. what a great space you are creating it looks both chic and relaxing - a winner combination. tanquil and yet at the same time warm and embracing.

he really blessed you with a new talent. x x x

Lynette said...

I never thought that your home was looked homely and warm when I visited you. I love what you are doing tho and can't wait to see all the knick knacks you are going to add.

allie. said...

@ Cat - I spent so may years like that. But it does pass, so don't despair!

allie. said...

Thanks to lg and Lynette -
Funny how our perceptions of ourselves and our own stuff is so differnt from others see things, isn't it!

allie. said...

Ah Meriel, really?
I would never have thought so.
I remember so clearly the pics of your place you posted just before you stopped blogging - your place looked amazing!
And I would never have put you down as having the same insecurities as I am having to overcome :-)

Olivia said...

I was just going, me too, me too, me too...and finally there is hope and cure for this! I always have this filling of ok, this time I'm going to do it, and then I feel heavy, very heavy, then insecure, and then I give up. Your post is inspirational...looking fwd to see the final result! Take care...