Too Much

Some women thrive on huge department stores; endless rows of clothing to choose from seems their idea of heaven.

They dart and dive around among the riches, like humming birds, every now and then emerging flushed and triumphant, brandishing armsful of garments to try on.

I wish I were like that.

Too much choice paralyses me.
Turning around and running away is my first impulse.
I know this is freakish
But what can I say?
It's how it is.

Now the same syndrome seems to be raising its head in another, more important, arena of my life.
Suddenly I have the time, the where withal and the desire to contribute to others in some way.
But here's the thing -
The needs in this country are so great and so varied, it is completely overwhelming.
Its the choice thing all over again!
And I find that my instinct is to react like the big-shop scene.
Just close my eyes and run the other way.

But in the same way that I manage to find clothes to wear in spite of myself
I'm trusting that a way will open up for me to get stuck in and help some how -
And, please Lord, I'll recognise it for what it is!