A Difficult Re Entry

 

For those of you who are familiar with our family's journey over the last 6 months or so, this is a pic-post to explain my long silence.

(For those who are not, if you read my last couple of posts they will put you in the picture.)

 

i would have thought that words would have poured out of me during this time of such extreme emotion

but what happened was unexpected and puzzling

no words came.

not even  cohesive thoughts

eventually i began to understand.

 

i will let the pictures be the parable.

 

Because of huge numbers of people, the exit is jammed and blocked.

so with too many emotions and thoughts,

they cannot not find utterance.

It is quite literally true, i have found, that something can be too painful for words.

 

 

Today is my first move towards unblocking that exit.

my words feel cautious and unbalanced, feeling their way forward with bare and sensitive feet.

stopping to look around

look back

and maybe want to turn around altogether

and retreat.

 

 

but i have decided to post this no matter how dumb it looks to me

just to break up the "log jam"

this post is this man,

prodding at a seemingly impossible tangle to get things moving.

 

 

this is where i hope to end up

 my words bounding back on to the page, full of vigour

orderly but free.