I think I will stick with A for a little while.
It seems rude to abandon her so soon.
I'm embarrassed to admit this
But the fact of the matter is that I feel aimless at the moment.
I know there are many ways one can involve oneself in good causes
But I need a sense of "fit" -
Is that too much to ask?
At 73 I don't want to fritter my life away in odd bits of service, just so I can feel useful.
I want to feel purposeful, excited and challenged
I want it to make a difference;
Even if matters to one person
It surely isn't too late for that ?
I never realised how much I miss moving toward that kind of goal
I want that again.
Not just any goal
But something that makes my pulses race
Something that seems impossible, silly, grandiose
I have never ever done a cartwheel
Or even a handstand.
I guess you could say I am not acrobatic.
I have a love/hate relationship with you