Friday, March 31, 2017

Three More A's

I think I will stick with A for a little while.
It seems rude to abandon her so soon.


I'm embarrassed to admit this
But the fact of the matter is that I feel aimless at the moment.
I know there are many ways one can involve oneself in good causes
But I need a sense of "fit" -
Is that too much to ask?

At 73 I don't want to fritter my life away in odd bits of service, just so I can feel useful.
I want to feel purposeful, excited and challenged
I want it to make a difference;
To matter
Even if matters to one person
It surely isn't too late for that ?

I never realised how much I miss moving toward that kind of goal
Until recently.
I want that again.
Not just any goal
But something that makes my pulses race
Something that seems impossible, silly, grandiose


I have never ever done a cartwheel
Or even a handstand.
I guess you could say I am not acrobatic.


Oh art!
I have a love/hate relationship with you


Gill said...

Love what you're doing with the letters of the alphabet.

The aimless thing I can relate to. I've been having this restless feeling, like there is something "out there" that I am supposed to do, some pre-destined thing, but how do I figure out what it is?

Oh and the cartwheel and hand-stand business, I totally get that too!! LOL!

allie. said...

Hullo, Gill its so nice to hear from you!
Specially since you can relate :-)
You have put "the feeling" into words so well

Sometimes it makes me feel excited and full of expectation: other times, almost guilty, as though I'm supposed to know but have somehow missed it.

Lets let each other know if we get any insights, ok?