Friday, July 21, 2017

Teetering or Leaping?

I had coffee with a friend yesterday
And the talk meandered through all kinds of topics as it does when you feel comfortable with each other.
Leisurely, relaxed.

Then suddenly we were in "a zone"
You know how it goes?
Where your friend says something and you feel your inner ears prick up
And you come to attention
Your friend is talking about her struggles, naming them
And you know they exactly mirror your own
Only she is giving them words.

She spoke of aims, dreams and hopes for the future
Noble things
High things but not, to me, anything she couldn't aspire to
But there seemed to be a little sadness in her, in sharing her dreams.

And as we pondered on that, our shared monster was revealed
The fear of failure
The fear of success, which would lead to bigger things, and then failure.
The fear of being exposed and vulnerable as you put your whole self out there

She said it's as though you have walls around you protecting you
And you feel safe as long as you operate inside those walls
But if you ventured something larger, allowing those walls to collapse
The sense of vulnerability would be overwhelming

I could so relate
Its easier for me to dream,
Than to do the thing and take the risks.

But the same walls that make us feel safe
Can be confining ones that frustrate us, imprison us
So we never dare
Never find out what we could have done
Never find out what its like to explode with joy at achieving what seemed impossible for us.

I think for many, its the story of our lives
It just keeps replaying in different guises.
An avoidable tragedy.

Taking the leap comes so easily for some.
For others, its a strain but they do it anyway.
This post isn't for those
Its for those of us who long to take the leaps
Dare great things
Make a difference
But find ourselves so often teetering on the brink, then stepping back
Thinking, "Maybe next time I'll be braver."

If all those shrinking violets suddenly stepped up to the plate
What riches might find their way into life on this planet!
If we all brought our little loaves and fishes to the party
What a party it could be!.



Lynette Jacobs said...

Beautifully expressed ❤

allie. said...

Thank you, Lynette