Over the last few weeks, I found I no longer enjoyed anything.
I would sit down to write my blog post and find I had nothing to say.
Worse - I didnt even want to say anything.
The same with painting; another love.
I would walk into my studio, feel the blankness in me
And walk out again.
People, nature, tv, movies - nothing had any flavour, any ability to stir the inner juices in me.
I flatlined emotionally, too numb even to be worried about it
DH, noticing something was amiss, invited me to sit with him under the tree in our garden.
On the bench which overlooks the sea, he asked me if I knew what was making me feel this way.
"Not a clue" was my honest answer.
But as we sat there, clarity burst brilliant and bright on me.
And I knew.
I had let something good get n the way of something vital.
DH and I read the bible together in the mornings; he from his Afrikaans one, me from my English one.
Then we discuss what we've read, exploring the subtle nuances that come from the two languages.
Then we pray together.
This is the "something " good.
The something vital that had gone missing was my time alone with the Lord.
What burst upon me that morning was that nothing can replace the intimacy of one-on-one contact, whether between people, or between one believer and the Lord.
I remembered how it had been, those alone times with Him
And could not believe I had let go of them.
Now I know more what it means to hunger and thirst for Him -
Its like a starvation of the soul
A craving of the heart, as if for water without which we cannot survive long.
And I am freshly blown away by the kindness of the One who would close down all other distractions in order to bring me back to the one thing that's needful.