Saturday, November 6, 2010

Answers.

I stopped blogging for about 6 weeks, feeling that I needed to get a handle on a few things.
(see 2 posts back)
So why am I back so soon?
It certainly isn't because I have accomplished it all: but now I do have some handles.

I have maintained the gym thing and have migrated from "Omigosh, I hate this!" to finding enjoyment in reaching goals I set myself there.
I can also feel some muscles in my thighs.
Oh the joy!

The writing thing?
I found that I stopped writing altogether when I stopped blogging.
Not what I planned at all. Not what I expected either.

The adjustment, I realise, has to come in another way - that is - writing what satisfies me right here.
That way, I also deal a death blow to the people pleasing (and follower counting) I had fallen into.

For the secure people this might sound very lame but it was real to me, and something I had to recognize, and then get past.
To accept that there will be some people who will be bored with my stuff and others who will like it.
And thats ok.

The search for spiritual depth has been the most awesome part of this silent period
I learned that I couldn't make it happen by cranking up the disciplines.
I couldn't make anything happen myself.
I learned all I could bring was my desire to know Christ more deeply.
But its as though the Lord saw my intent and rushed to meet me.
I am grateful
Beyond words.
So, no more words about that :-)

This has been an incredible time for me - I guess that explains my header and my opening post.
It is still 2010 - my word for this year was "Venture"
This has been a venture, although i didn't recognize it at first.
But I do now

6 comments:

Olivia said...

Hi Allie,
Love the picture and it is indeed how you come across to people the first time they meet you...well at least that is what happened to me...
Looking forward to read from, about, you...Love

allie said...

Hi Olivia - well thats a lovely thing to hear!
How are things going in the Congo?

Meriel said...

i've felt parched without you - welcome back x x x

I'm so not a blogger said...

Indeed, welcome back, you have been missed:-)

allie said...

@ Meriel - XXX

Lynette said...

Allie...I hear you;-D I can't wait to read about your deeper walk. In this year with all its troubles, I have leared that this wonderful outlet named "blogging" should be for you...not for the following. I have found that just putting my thoughts and feeling out "there" made me understand and see more clearly the road I am travelling.