Another early morning post (4.56 to be exact)
The paradoxical nature of life has been on my mind.
Which is a really wasteful way to live
I've been trying to learn how to live with this dichotomy.
Men have it easy
They have the whole "mental compartment thing" going on.
A fight with the wife?
Go for a run; watch TV; read the paper; go to work . . .
They can just switch it off.
(Doesn't that make you crazy?!)
For us gals, its not so easy
Our emotions flood willy-nilly through all areas of our lives
It affects us at every level
And colours our lives grey and tense until it gets better.
Thats us by nature
But its not ok.
Thats what I'm learning.
For about a month I have just opted out
Trying to process it all.
I call it "The Stubbed Toe Syndrome"
A stubbed toe makes you forget you have any other body part.
Its as though you are all toe
All screaming, hopping, clutching, hurting . .
But in reality, 99% of you is fine
Its just that the pain has pushed all the good stuff out of sight.
I want to learn (as the GPS lady puts it) to be "recalculating" the way I process life
Not to harden my heart to pain
Not to live in denial
But to be able to recognise and appreciate the beautifulnesses in the midst of the painfulnesses.
Together they form the fabric of life
And who am I that I should think I should experience only the easy?
And what sort of person would I be, if I did?