People ask "So how are you? How are things going with your family?"
I look at them helplessly because there is no answer -
How can words encompass what is happening in our midst?!
Whatever the outcome of our son-in-law's struggle with this dreadful disease, our lives have been marked forever.
None of us will be the same again
The landscape of our lives look like the ravaged slopes of our mountains after the recent fires.
Feeling claustrophobic but not wanting to leave the house
Missing friends but not wanting to be among people.
Trusting God but imperfectly; floundering in the mystery of how this all works.
And yes, there are the little gems
There are the good days in amongst the tough ones
But when I look at our daughter's brave and haunted face, it is hard to focus on them.
And when I see our son-in-law's quiet struggles, it almost drowns out everything else.
Is it still trust, even imperfect trust, when inside you cry out
"God, where are You?"