Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Confessions of Idiocy.

I do dumb things every now and then. Yesterday was a doozie. (Bear in mind my abysmal fitness levels - 15 mins on my exercise bike, sporadically, is about it) Yesterday, DH left late for work, which, as we all know, plays havoc with our routine. If we have one, that is. So there I was, thinking, "I need to exercise; need to have time communing with God; and reeeaaallllly need to do the 'Artist's Date' that my course (The Artist's Way) demands weekly. (So far, I've been on the course 27 days, and have managed zero!) And they all needed to be done "early" and it was already eleven o'clockish. And then. . . "I know! I will combine all three by going for a walk instead of exercising on my bike. Its a stunning, warm day - no wind. I can take my books with me and do all of the above at once! Maybe I'll even walk to Kalk Bay and browse through the little shops after I've done the beach"
Pure genius!
I loaded everything up: notebooks, pens, bible, sunscreen, money, whatever -
Oops! couldn't find a water bottle.
Never mind, it'll be ok.
Hmm, haven't had breakfast.
Ag, I'll get something when I get back.
I set off down the steps and in five minutes was on the beach, walking along the waters edge. Halfway along I decided to sit down on the sand and do some communing.
It was great: the water an incredible turquoise colour, the day windless and warm.
I talked to God and wrote things in the sand.
Peaceful . . Rewarding . .
Then - the Artist's Date -
I should tell you - the artist's date is supposed to be TWO HOURS of alone time!
No TV, no computer, no work - just space for you. . .
I kept looking at my watch, like, "Are we there yet?"
How can the time go so slowly?
Soon the 'lovely and warm' day became 'Oh help, HOT HOT HOT!
And - thirsty!
Dear heaven, was I insane to come out for so long in this weather with no water!
Think Namib. . .
Shall I walk on to Kalk Bay?
Um - no.
Next evidence of genius:
I remember I need a couple of things from the chemist.
And since the chemist is right by the beach, it makes sense to pop in there
And since thats right next to Pick n Pay, let me just grab a few essentials from there.
In one way, that was really efficient thinking.
But where it matters - NOT.
Now laden with a heavy Pick n Pay packet as well as the backpack, tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth with thirst, ( WHY didn't I buy a Coke!!??); my stomach digesting itself with hunger and getting me back by unleashing fainty feelings on me, I face the trip home.
Up the mountain, people.
Those lovely views?
They come with a price.
The tag is - its all uphill on the way home.
Shall I just say, I stopped many times to rest along the way?
Sagging, sweating, gasping, hoping like h**l no one I knew would see me,
sure I was about to have a heart attack any moment,
chastising myself for not having made a will.
I wondered whether to take the easier route through the neighbourhood garden - but dithered because if I collapsed there, it might be a while before I was found.
I eventually arrived at my gate, rung the bell for my househelp (although I had the key) and waited for her to come to the gate.
"Milcah, gasp gasp, please take my backpack and the packet upstairs.
I'll come up in a while" . . .
She was very sympathetic, but I bet she was grinning to herself at this crazy woman who went out for a walk and arrived home in a state of collapse!
I dragged myself upstairs, thankful that my heart had held out long enough for me to die in peace on my couch, in front of the TV.
Dear heaven, please let this humiliating experience be enough to motivate me (at last) to gain a measure of fitness.
And a measure of wisdom.


deon said...

Geez Mom! Take it easy. Glad you're ok though.

Shayne said...

Crazy old woman!!! *joking*

Glad you're ok - but i kinda get you - i prob would have done something similar - i once bought a whole dinner service (on sale at Woolies) forgetting that I had to catch the train home (from CT - Rondebosch) and then walk about 15 mins.

So i hear you. xx

Simply-Mel said...

wth? you were IN PICK N PAY and you didnt get a drink?

I am going to start looking a Old People Homes if you do this again...OKAY???? LOL

Belinda Nel said...

Well on the bright side you got your work out hey:-)

Gill said...

Oh Allie I love you! This is SO the kind of thing I would do! LOL!

Lynette said...

LOL! Really....laughing out loud...this makes me think of the e-mail you sent me;-D

Heehee...also something I tend to do...so don't feel alone okay?

allie said...

I LURVE alla you who can identify!

Anyone who mentioned "crazy" or "old' - I'm not speaking to you for a while.

But seriously, even in my extremity, I was aware of how hilarious it all was.

I think if I had died of a heart attack, I would have been MAD that I hadn't got a chance to blog it.