Friday, July 16, 2010

Domain Two

I need to add-on to yesterday's post fast, otherwise you will be left with the impression that a "This is my 'kingdom', so you just get out of my face and my space because I'm justified in feeling this way. Look, its in this book!" attitude is where I have ended up. It isn't. Understanding is what this part brought. But there was more. There was rescue.

Very soon the "Yay, now I get it!" jubilation was invaded by "Hang on a moment. Something doesn't feel right." Images of that attitude flashed into my mind: hands on hips, face sticking out, bad-ass expression, finger pointing, angry confrontational words.

Something like this:

Then like confetti falling, memories of things I'd heard began drifting down, things like esteeming others more highly than yourself, like meekness, like kindness, like cheek turning. The thoughts, you understand, were gentle and undemanding. They were rescuing. As though my questing hand had been taken and I was being led along a way.

I began to see that you can't give away what you don't know you own.

So I had needed to see I had a 'kingdom': that my feelings had legitimacy. Only then could I move to the vital next step.

Giving it away.

Freely saying: "Demanding my will would only harden and increase my self centredness. In any case, when I decided to follow Christ, I gave myself, my life to Him. Which surely includes 'my kingdom' if it includes anything!"

Now the words: "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth . . " have become rivettingly real to me.

And you know what? I discovered that that's all it took. I didn't have to try hard to do things differently, to remember how I ought to act. No, things have just changed spontaneously. DH and I often make supper together now; I ask him to help me; for his advice - he is amazed. And he loves the change.

Because this has been my journey. He is the beneficiary but it has been my learning curve; my healing; and my joy.

Because I am a witness of, and a participator in, the miracles of rescue that Christ does in our ordinary extraordinary lives.


Stefanie said...

Ok, now I get it.
I prefer the idea of the domain though at least until I only have one helper in the kitchen (hubby dearest, ) at the moment I could have him and three kids and the kitchen is way too small. I like my quality time one on one, one husband or just one of the kids in the kitchen with me.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for a great post with relevant and important thoughts. I recently read a GREAT book on this topic called "Thy Will Be Done On Earth" by Russell.
Thanks again.

Lynette said...

I love these posts of yours that force me to think and take a good look at my life and how I handle it.

allie said...

@ Stef - So glad you got it :-)
@ Butch - Welcome Butch!
As far as I know this was a first time visit. I'm glad you got something out of this post.
Thanks for entering the conversation.
I will look out for that book.

@ Lynette - I just post it as it happens to me. I'm glad if anything there helps you in your journey XX