Saturday, December 18, 2010

It Is This

The marriage of one of our children is in serious trouble.
The two of them have been together since their midteens and have been married 7 years.
So this in-law child was like one of our own
And now there is a possibility that that could change in the worst way.

I have not given up hope but it feels like a kind of death: watching their pain and not being able to fix it.
 Experiencing our own sense of loss -
It feels as though there had been a death in the family.
And, in a way, there has
Because no matter which way things go, it will never be as it was before.
But at worst, this child will no longer be part of the family.
Its unthinkable!

But for now, we are just taking one step at a time.

This is the scripture we have been given over and over again:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name. You are mine. 
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. 
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned.
Nor shall the flame scorch you."

Isaiah 43:1-2


Shayne said...

Allie i have nothing to say that will be of any comfort to you, i'm sure. You and I have both been through divorces, so I think we know that what happens is a marriage is only known by those in it. And no matter how hard it is to see them part, if it has to happen, it must. You need to be strong, be there for your child and give him as much support as possible. Which i'm sure you are already doing. Remember that if you're hurting, imagine the hurt they are going through. much love to you xx

Lynette said...

I know just how close knit your family is. I feel for you and will hold your hand through this.


allie. said...

Thanks so much, Shayne -
Yes, you are right. You and I have been through it ourselves but it is very different when its happening to your kids.

The very reason that we are hurting is because of their unspeakable pain which is playing out right in front of our eyes.

@ Lynette - you have been through this exact thing.
You know.
Thank you for being there.
As you will have seen, God has used you already with the scripture you sent me.
We feel blessed to have Him reassure us so!

Ness at Drovers Run said...

I'm sorry to hear of your pain. Gosh, how awful. The hubs and I have been married for 6.5yrs (together for 11yrs), and I can't imagine being with anyone but him. Okay, well I can imagine Russell Crowe, but don't let me lower the tone of your post ;)

clare said...

@ Ness LOL!

Shame Alli - awful for you, I remember my Mum crying and crying once because I was getting divorced (she doesnt cry much) she really felt the pain of it all. All three of her kids have been divorced and she if friendly with the exs in fact she visits them all when she is in SA. L can still be part of your family its just a choice you make it is a bit strange at first but it can be done especially when there are new partners.

Kirsty said...

Thinking of you all Allie. It's not easy for anyone to witness. However - as you well know from your own life experiences, your son and DIL can both find true happiness again with new partners. (look at you and your DH and the Mcregs fandamily)
Time will tell what is the right path - but with Gods guidance, the right path it will be, regardless of which way it goes.

Meriel said...

Allie I survived my parents divorce and my own. I would not wish it on my worst enemy - the pain is raw and no matter how many people there are around you it is the loneliest you ever feel.
My safe place was to close my eyes and picture myself swimming under water. Long even strokes. It made me feel weightless and clean and tranquil. It muffled the hundreds of voices. It was a quiet place.
I wish that for you and your child. A refuge where they can draw strength. x x x Much love to you.