Sunday, October 30, 2011

This Way and That

I suppose we all know that life can change dramatically in a matter of moments
But usually that knowledge is tucked away like a tendril of curly hair behind an ear.
Life chugs along, and all seems settled and almost mundane.
Enjoyable maybe, but predictable -

When sudden change comes out of the blue, for me there seem to be two warring responses:
One: Let me be honest, real trepidation.
Two: A sort of leaping anticipation

I have an inner conflictedness -
I love my comfortable, safe life.
I am grateful beyond words for it and am reluctant to even think of having to relinquish any of it.
Hence the trepidation.
But then - and this feels a little like a confession - I find I long for something more; something challenging; something that will make my pulses race.
Hence the anticipation.

They do say that this is the human condition: we long for both adventure AND security
So I'm not that weird.

And I wonder now, when major change seems imminent, if this thing that looks so scary might be the open door to the very things I've been longing for. . .
Sometimes thats just the way my Father does things.
He's very good at turning yuck things into wonderful things.

Watch this space.


cat said...

Oh Allie - you have such a way with words!

And yes, is that not how we all feel. Or me at least.

Joanne said...

Ditto Cat! I am crying out for adventure its ridiculous I would even sign up for a save the world kinda trip - anything!!!

allie. said...

So good to know I'm not alone in this!

Lynette Jacobs said...

You are not alone. I think the BIGGEST thing we ever did was give everything up and go into ministry full time. It was scary and exhilarating all at the same time. The knowledge that God spoke and called and we just had to answer the call. Living on the edge...usually comes with a lovely view.