Arrows and Messages

Lynette's great post on Triggers brought this to mind. A teaching called "Arrows and Messages"* opened my eyes to this 'trigger' effect I believe it does affect everyone - at least until they have been made aware of, and have dealt with it. Basically, the teaching was that all people have hurtful/traumatic/crippling things said to them during their lives, starting from the youngest years. They called those things the Arrows. They pierce and penetrate They leave scars But they are not the real culprits The culprits are the Messages. Each arrow carries a message - or we experience them like that. For example: Two kids in your class have to pick sides from the rest of the class. You are picked last. Message: I am not good enough or: People don't like me. or: There is something wrong with me. I don't belong So while the Arrow of the humiliation of being picked last will fade, whatever Message we received will take root deep inside us. After that, every time something is said, or something happens to us that reinforces that Message, we subconsciously add it to our 'file'. Our group each wrote down a few obvious Arrows from our past and then we asked ourselves what the Messages attached to them were. I was astonished to find that I had attached the same Message to all the Arrows in my life Which had resulted in very strong subconscious problem which coloured my life for years So it suddenly became glaringly obvious why I so often used to react so violently to seemingly tiny things The 'tiny things' carried the same message as all the others So I heard it magnified through a loudspeaker And reacted accordingly Poor DH - how patient he was Patient and puzzled As in: "How CAN this woman get THAT mad when I ask her if she has put salt in the food?!" Try the exercise if you like It is such a useful tool to understand yourself and others I pass it on - maybe it will help someone else too *From Sacred Romance by John Eldridge