Tuesday, January 18, 2011

One Thing You Don't Know

"In every situation, there is at least one thing you do not know."

I remember hearing this statement years ago and thinking "Wow, how true that is!"
But then, as one does, I forgot all about it.
Until recently, when the tragedy happened, and even more when this started happening.

It comes so naturally to us to build whole scenarios on very few facts, then make premature judgement calls.
Very often we only hear one side of a story but have no problem drawing conclusions from that one-sided version.
Which almost always means deciding who is the "good guy" and who is "the "bad guy" and starting to act accordingly.
And in some cases, even worse, to talk accordingly - sharing our own limited version as though it were the whole story.

Life is just never that black and white
Especially when it comes to relationships
No one really knows the nuts and bolts of the relationships of others, no matter how close they are.
So making assumptions; jumping to conclusions - call it what you will - is not a wise thing to do.

But I have done it more times than I care to remember.
I shudder to think of the damage I might have caused in the process.

I hope I will stop now.
And learn a little wisdom
Or at least, show a little more humility.


clare said...

You are so clever Allie, great post xxx

blackhuff said...

You know what ... we all make assumptions (many of them) and therefor mistakes. But we do learn from them and that is what happened to you now. You've learned to not make assumptions anymore in the future to come. Sorry to hear about this terrible thing happening to your family

Me said...

Yip... Indeed!

Lynette said...

Yes...things like this makes us stop and take note in many ways. But then again...I guess life is a growing process and we will continue to learn until the day we leave this earth.

Trix's Mix said...

Great post!

I'm so not a blogger said...

so agree with Lynette. It's always good to come to realisations and try to learn from them, be better humans as we go about our daily lives. I think though, that more so than just between relationships, no one can ever know what is actually going on inside one person.Add the two together and well, one never knows!

allie. said...

Thanks for the input peeps!
Yes, we do keep on learning hopefully - my hope is that this will not slide into the background again and be forgotten.
I want it to stay as part of my attitude framework.

I agree with ISNB - it goes way beyond just relationships - even into what goes on in just one person.
Well, if we can factor this into our lives - even a little - we will be a more grace-filled bunch.
And that is all good.

cat said...

We have gone through 3 divorces in our family and friends last year and one thing I can say for sure - there is never a purely guilty and purely innocent. NEVER!